Posted by: purestjoy | October 11, 2007

I read somewhere that you don’t “get over” grief, you don’t get over missing them, but rather you just integrate it and it becomes a part of who you are.  I think that is true.  I don’t know what shape it is taking in me, in the integrating process, because I have a feeling it’s still doing that…:)

Do I miss him less? Most emphatically, no.  Have I become better at handling the emotion? I think, yes.  Maybe that’s what people mean by healing — it’s actually more like learning, and growing around it.  It’s like you have this HUGE thing that you didn’t have before.  At first you don’t know how to handle it. Every time you move, it hurts and you cry out in pain. But eventually, you begin to grow around it, and it becomes a part of you. It still aches but you become accustomed to it.  There are times when a bump comes along that jars you, and you cry out again.  But you know better how to handle the jars now. You know what works to ease the pain. And sometimes…..you’re grateful for the jars because then you know that it’s still there…because it IS a part of who you are, a HUGE part, it’s a sign that you have loved and are still loving.

So, yes, “the” day is fast approaching.  I am at Mom & Dad’s for this is my comfort place. I think of last year, and I miss people.  My sister and her two kids.  I play with Rejoica (who ever since Ereling passed away has started barking whenever people she likes leave —she doesn’t want them to go– I wish I could convey to her that I understand)

We watched “Magnicient Seven” last night, and we will watch “Facing the Giants” soon. (That movie holds a VERY special place in our hearts)      And the “thing” settles a little more into place, and I become a little more what God has intended.

But still, I look ever so forward to that day, when I will see him again, and we will both be in a place where there is no death ….oh how glorious that will be!! 🙂

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Responses

  1. *hugs*

    I’m thinking of you and your family this weekend…


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